I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
