You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
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