we're blogging at a bar
do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Randomize