did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
