who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
