Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
