imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
We are two peas in an std pod
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
