there's paper in my vomit.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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