I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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