first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
thus making me awesome and them whores
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Randomize
