I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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