if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
