Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You're like the curious george of whores
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
