this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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