And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
BRING THE BAGELS
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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