I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
