Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
