I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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