I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
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