Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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