We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
