I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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