Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you guys were way drunker than both of me
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
