She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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