I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
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