I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
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