you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
and she was petting her beer can
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize