508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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