You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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