they need to just BURY HIM!
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
