Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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