you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
