Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
My vagina just recognized that song.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
