at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
