i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
