Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
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