we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
