Those balls look pretty dangerous.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
