That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
