she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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