You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
