Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
