FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize