Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
