I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Randomize