he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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