Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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