what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
