This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
