yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
she peed on how many people?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
