I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
