guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize