I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
operation harelip BJ is a go
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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