I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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