I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
